Futsal Game..

Er, I was really thinking where to start my blog with, because there have been so many things that happens in my life and that I begin to lose sight of bringing glory back to God. So I decided to praise God in this area first, of as of my previous post, Yes it’s all begins with Church of Praise, not denying that, but Futsal was the initial point. To me it’s like the altar that I can never forget.

Ok, it’s all started with Tommie (my CG leader), invite me to a futsal game, that was like my third time in the church, everyone still a stranger to me. And Futsal is also a stranger to me. Well my whole purpose of going to the game was to make more friend as of that point was really lonely, and I know my life needed much more than just family. Well that was drive me to the game, in the name of fellowshipping. Even when I decided to go, I already build a scene where everyone start hating for not be able to kick even the ball.

But in my mind, I was like sort of testing the patience of these people are they really willing to put up with some one barely can kick a ball. I never kicked the ball before, TRULY, as heaven is my witness and God who is in the throne shall judge me so severely if I am lying on these, I never really played futsal ever before. All I can ever remember was being rejected from that game. That makes me grow up in severe loneliness. Because I hated myself for not be able to play that game and my friend rejects me for that. That game really has heavy bitter roots that been growing for 2 over decades. If any of my uni-friends would remember, everywhere I go I make fun of the stupidity of the game. And I would make strong statement like I hate football with all my heart, soul and Spirit. Bless the Samaritan who said the prayer for me to come to the understanding of the game.

Well here is the spiritual deliverance comes in, I was so growing up with the bitter roots makes me never been iconic man, which I always strive for. For those who know closely, watch the way I dress, it’s not that I am so fashion-concerned, It’s my strife to reach the iconic man which I always dreamt. I wanted so much to be an idol at least just to someone. So much I wanted Attention; yes I was suffering severe lack of attention. And then I fuh I was in the game, played the game as lousy as no one could beat me in lousiness.

But some is definitely different this time. For my very first time in my life, for the very first time, I heard a loud voice cheering for me. A loud voice is coming out from someone I barely know him that well then. It’s Samuel Chia, a guy from that church, who did the shout, “ Good one, Naresh!!”, then I realize that was my first kick on the field. I actually managed to kick the ball. Not a Goal in fact till today I haven’t scored in. My days are coming I will one day score in. But this was like words can’t explain, what it’s had done in the spiritual realms, broke thousands of wall. I secretly was suffering from low self esteem and inferiority Complex. But any of my action externally was living in denial of someone suffering from that, seriously, can’t believe it had happen. I saw so many spiritual walls, crumbling down. TOO OOOOO many layers of wall broke free. The scenery for me was like, When Joshua Call out a triumph loud cry and trumpet sound that made the city of jericho’s wall down. Everything come crumbling down. Well I never had a day I actually walk in and tell Samuel how much that shout meant for me. But it’s definitely broke down. It took me this long to actually share it out. Because halfway, I was skeptical of the freedom I had. But I lived long enough this day to share it for the Glory of God, I am now FREEE.. REALLY FREEE… To those who know personally, or you are reading my blog and heard about my past before. Well, those days were like so impossible, but I know now, it’s possible. I also wants sincerely to apologize for leaving false confidence in everyone last time, because every time I think I am changed and bring about the confidence that I am changed but I am not and certainly was tough time for those who were walking along side with me. But now is definitely different. This Change is not Done by me, It’s Done by God, For unto eternity it can’t be changed unless I Choose to go back to my own mud.

Second person I really want to thank is Uncle Teoh, REALLY all I my life never met such caring and humble man. He was like a man hardly give up almost anything. He was like father to the fatherless generation in my church. ( I hope his children don’t stone me ), I barely have dialogue with him, except in the game, but even in the game, he always warm me into the game and never let me give up, at time I fall, at times the ball bounce on my head and give me head spin, Guess who run to give me aid and make me back to the game, if not for Uncle Teoh, I would have loose sight. Really thank God for people like him in the church would organize events that really bonds everyone in the church.

This game meant a lot for me. Real a lot for me. It bring back the childhood I lost. It cures my rejection from having friends. It restores me from my loneliness to a leader. ( read my other blog to under this : http://apostlenaresh.blogspot.com). It completely restores me and lead me to the right track with God. Not even in my wildest dream, wildest imagination I would have dream about this. But it has finaly come. It is finally here, Thanks for praying for me. Now I am that you have prayed me for.

GLORY only BELONGS to GOD, not to futsal Game, IT’s just an instrument God use to bring about the deliverance.